


Of Girlfriends and Gaydars

by not_here_leave_a_message



Category: Atypical (TV 2017)
Genre: Character Study, F/F, F/M, Mentions of Izzie/Casey but nothing established yet., Nate is an asshole but in a privileged teenage boy type of way, Nate's POV, One Shot, Some Swearing, They're teenagers okay, they're gonna swear.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-29
Updated: 2019-03-29
Packaged: 2019-12-26 07:06:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18278258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/not_here_leave_a_message/pseuds/not_here_leave_a_message
Summary: Nate's not an idiot.  Well, he is in a lot of ways, but...not about this.Aka a one-shot from Nate's POV realizing that his girlfriend is maybe not as straight as she thinks she is.





	Of Girlfriends and Gaydars

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all. Had this kicking around in my fanfic folder for a while so just decided I'd publish it. It's un-betad so all mistakes are my own, though I did blaze through it to briefly check for any major problems. It's from a different POV than one might expect but I like looking at things from odd angles, so...
> 
> That said, obviously there are mentions of cheating in this and Nate's various excuses to himself and his jumping through hoops to justify his behavior. I don't excuse nor condone his behavior because...well, it's a horrible thing to do! But I did wanted to explore that mentality a bit.
> 
> Hope you guys like it!

Nate knew. 

Not to brag, but his gaydar was pretty solid.  His brother’s best friend was gay, for example.  Nate had, honest to god, thought that everyone knew that, and had thought so for several weeks before Grayson officially came out. 

His aunt was gay and he’d known long before anyone in his family had cared to dance around the subject during the holidays.  She’d been dating her latest girlfriend for three years and they saw each other every year at Thanksgiving.  Her girlfriend was really cool, she was a professional BMX biker and though Nate didn’t particularly like the sport, her stories were always interesting.  Far more interesting than his grandfather’s ramblings about who even knew what and the snorefest that was them going around the table, giving thanks. 

_“I’m thankful for my family!”_

_“I’m thankful for the turkey!”_

_“I’m thankful for the dessert, ha ha ha!”_

He always rolled his eyes to the back of his skull.

Thanksgivings had gotten more entertaining, also, when he started dating Izzie. 

He didn’t know immediately that she was gay, despite his highly-tuned gaydar.  In his defense, he was only human: Izzie was hot and she was cool.  She was…different, than the other kids at Newton.  She acted like the rest of them but he could see she was more down to earth.  Her jokes were less vapid but her sense of humor was more venomous.  She was athletic and she was confident and he liked all of that about her. 

He wasn’t sure, when she’d first come to Newton, if he’d have a shot.  Izzie carried herself in such a way that exuded poise.  Normally, Nate didn’t doubt himself.  He could have every girl in the school, if he wanted.  But Izzie…Izzie made him doubt, and that was the first thing that really drew him to her. 

He needn’t have worried, as it turned out.  They sort of…fell into an easy friendship.  He…hadn’t been expecting it, in all honesty.  He’d wondered how he could get her, what angle he should approach her with, what moves he could pull? 

It turned out that she ended up talking to him first, and he hadn’t even realized she was there.  He was hunched over his homework after school.  He stayed after for Indoor Tennis.  It wasn’t his favorite sport, but it was the one he was forced to take.  He didn’t have his license yet, so he just plopped down outside in the nice, unseasonably warm October air and set about doing his math homework. 

“That looks way too complicated,” came a comment from above him, and he’d looked up to see Izzie, with a cheeky grin on her face as she smiled down at him.

He blinked at her, caught off-guard.  To the point that he couldn’t think of anything to answer her, not for a moment, anyway. 

“I can tell ‘cause your brain is fried,” she capitalized on the delay, and he laughed. 

“Nah, I was just struck by the presence of an angel.” He finally managed.  Not his best work, but…

She snorted, “Oh god, do not-”

“Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” he asked, smirking at her. 

She rolled her eyes.  “Almost as much as that pick up line hurt my soul.”

“Can I kiss it better?” he offered, and she tossed her head back. 

“No, but you can scooch over so that I can sit.”

He looked around himself, and then motioned to all of the open space around him.  “I think you can manage,” he winked, “I have the utmost faith in you.  Your aim might not be great, but the falling distance is shorter here, so I think you’ll land just fine.”

She laughed again before walking around him and plopping down in front of him, also pulling out her homework.  They sat in silence for a while before Nate, his brain perhaps catching up with him, piped up, “I’m Nate, by the way.” He held out his hand.

Izzie smiled.  “Izzie.”

“So Izzie,” he closed his notebook, putting it aside in favor of looking her up and down.  She didn’t exactly shy away from the attention.  “What brings you to my patch of grass this late after school?”

She rolled her eyes again, “Waiting for a ride, you?”

“Same.”

They’d bonded over homework, sports, and school.  And from there they just…spent more time together.  Until Nate just figured he should ask.

“You wanna be my girlfriend?” he’d been pretty abrupt about it, but Izzie regarded him for a moment.  He’d just randomly approached her at her locker and while that wasn’t unusual, at that point, it was the first time he’d asked such a serious question.  “I’m like, totally joking,” he added, before leaning on the wall and giving her his winning smile, “Unless you’re into it.  In which case.  100% serious.”

She laughed and ducked her head, to hide her reddening face. 

“Honestly I thought you were gonna make me ask!” she giggled, before rolling her eyes and saying yes. 

And…that had been that.  Nate was dating the hottest girl in school, and she was dating him, and all was good. 

And it had started out good.  Izzie was a decent kisser, and just got better with time.  She came over his house a lot and they’d spend the time watching movies and doing homework, and making out.  Izzie got along well with his whole family and especially with his younger brothers.  She didn’t seem to mind if they wanted to rough play and more than once they’d ended up in a family wrestle-mania type deal, with Nate either entangled in the knot or laughing and shaking his head. 

But sometimes Nate couldn’t help but feel…like there was something missing.  Izzie was great, truly, but…things in their relationship sort of cooled down before they’d even had time to heat up.  Make out sessions turned to simple kisses in the hall and pecks in his room.  Long cuddling embraces still lasted, and their talks were fantastic.  But honestly…sometimes Nate felt like he was dating his best friend, and not in the good way. 

It was a little confusing, if he was honest.  Izzie was always at his side, or at his house.  Always holding his hand or embracing him in some way.  She was affectionate, but in a way that almost felt a bit sterile.  Or rather…platonic.  True, he didn’t see her embracing the girls on the track team like that (the closest thing, he knew, that she had to girl friends), so he didn’t really know how she acted around other people.

In fact, he rarely saw her interact with anyone outside of school and his family. 

He’d met her younger siblings, of course.  He knew that she was largely responsible for taking care of them, though he was fuzzy on the details as to why.  He got, from her sometimes barbed answers from when he had chanced to ask, that it wasn’t a topic she wanted to discuss.  So he’d let it go. 

He wasn’t under any illusions about their relationship.  They likely wouldn’t be together after high school.  He was used to that mindset: he’d had it about any of his conquests, be they relationships or hook ups.  He was usually the one trying to drive the point home to them.  But with Izzie…there didn’t feel like a need.  It was almost as though she was also aware of that, had accepted it and was just wasting time with Nate, as he was with her. 

Again, it wasn’t like he minded: Izzie was cool. 

But as the months ticked by, she was less and less his girlfriend, and more and more his best friend.  Even more so at home, away from prying eyes, when she could unwind somewhat and laugh.  Izzie outside of school was almost an entirely different person.  Where at school she would reprimand him for perceived infractions, outside of the halls, she seemed like she couldn’t care less. 

It got to the point that he’d play video games, and rather than her bugging him for attention, she’d simply…watch.

All of his friends were insanely jealous, when they realized that.  They’d all been talking smack on their headsets.  Izzie had been over since school had ended and was in the middle of painting her nails behind Nate on the couch.  Nate was sat on the floor, playing Gears of War and yelling into his headset. 

“Don’t be a little bitch Collin, just shoot!”

“Shut up Markus you’re the one who lost us the last three tournaments.”

“Use your fuckin’ grenade launcher, Ryan!”

“Nate dude you’re so lucky that Izzie’s not there to see how bad you are at this, holy shit!” Troye laughed through the headset, and Nate growled,

“She’s actually right behind me.”

“What?”

“No way dude, there’s no way.  Tiff would throw a fuckin’ fit, Izzie’s definitely more possessive than she is, I call bullshit.”

“You can call whatever you want Markus but that doesn’t change the fact that she’s behind me-”

Izzie took the headset off of him and put it on, “You guys being dicks to my boyfriend?” she asked sharply.

He didn’t hear the end of it when he saw his friends at school.

“I can’t believe it, she just like…lets you play?!”

Nate shrugged and smiled, “Yeah, I’m pretty lucky.”

He didn’t mention the fact that he couldn’t recall the last time they’d had a good make-out session, let alone anything else that his friends were definitely getting.  Whenever it came up, he just played it coy.  They all made fun of him for being a gentleman but he was just saving face. 

No way was he gonna tell them that, though. 

Nate didn’t tell Izzie when he started seeing someone else.  She was a girl that went to a local public school, but he saw her around and she was cute, and they had a nice night out at a house party that Izzie couldn’t make it to because she was watching her siblings. 

He felt guilty, at first.  Izzie came over his house that weekend and was nothing but sweet, caring, attentive.  But then, nothing happened.  Izzie never learned about it, and she didn’t exactly make an effort to make anything more physical with him.  The closest they got was cuddles on the couch. 

So he started seeing other girls, behind her back.  He still did feel bad but…he was a teenaged boy.  He had needs.  And his friends weren’t helpful, essentially lionizing him.  Except Collin, who pulled him aside and told him he genuinely thought it was really fucked up, what Nate was doing to Izzie. 

And Nate did feel bad.  But…more in the way that he felt like he wasn’t able to tell his best friend about all of the fun, all of the conquests, he’d been having.  He wasn’t sure if Izzie would be interested even if they weren’t dating, but he wasn’t an idiot: discussing it while they were together was absolutely not an option.  But he could see her rolling her eyes at him and shoving him, laughing at his exploits and maybe calling him a pig. 

He could see it. 

And that was the problem.  He wasn’t sure that she would react that way while they were still dating, but he wasn’t exactly sure that she wouldn’t react that way, either.  He didn’t know what he meant to her.  He didn’t understand her at all.  All he knew was that she was still the cool, down to earth girl he’d met and liked.  The only difference between when they first spoke and the middle of their relationship was…well, there wasn’t a difference.  He knew more about her.  But only just.  The rest of it?  The banter and affectionate touches…all platonic. 

All symptomatic of a friendship, not a relationship. 

And he was too chicken to ask her about it. 

It slowly dawned on him after their six month mark, why he had this feeling.  Why he had a best friend who, if he was lucky, would peck him on the lips.  How his girlfriend may as well have been his guy friend. 

Maybe it was stupid, but he only realized it when she asked to play a video game with him.  She’d been over at his house, as was usual, and he’d been playing an older game, on his PS2.  It was his older brother’s, but since Sean was off at college, he got to use it.  He liked it for days when he didn’t feel like talking to or heckling his friends or complete strangers, and Izzie always seemed pretty indifferent. 

They were in Sean’s old room, where he had the entire tv and Playstation set up, and Izzie was leaning on the headboard, watching as Nate sat at the foot of the bed and shot zombies left and right in Resident Evil 4. 

“Can…can I give it a shot?” she’d piped up, and Nate paused the game, turning to look at her. 

“Oh um…if you want, babe,” he said, sending her a crooked smile, “You don’t have to, I know you find these boring.”

She glared at him, “Nathaniel Patrick Nathanielson Richardton the Third,” she started, his not-real full name that had arisen from her making fun of how “posh” his real name was, “If I thought this was boring, I would not be sitting here watching you do it all the damn time.  I may love you but not that much.”

He laughed, but the phrase stuck with him as he scooched over and handed over the controller.  He restarted the game so that she could get used to the controls, and she actually was pretty good.  She screamed a lot and almost threw the controller on more than one occasion, but Nate would be lying if he said he didn’t have the most fun he’d had in while with her that night. 

Two things, really, stuck out at him that day: “I may love you, but not that much” and how warm he felt around her.  The latter served to only send another pang of guilt through him, knowing he was cheating on this adorable little psychopath as she plowed through zombies on another level with a Tommy Gun he’d unlocked for her.  The former…served to nag at him for some time. 

She loved him, but not that much.  It should have been innocent enough.  But it niggled at the back of his mind and grew and grew, until he started seeing things he hadn’t noticed before.  Lingering looks at her friends.  Attention to actresses rather than actors when they saw movies.  Her admiration for almost exclusively women public figures.  Her locker having nothing but pictures of her family and articles featuring women athletes “for inspiration”.  Little things he’d noticed before and thought nothing of, but with slow revelation, he started to see them in a new light.  When he put them all together, with that phrase…

Well, it clicked. 

He knew that liking video games and admiring women didn’t necessarily make Izzie gay, but as soon as he’d thought it, it all fell into place and he knew that was the vibe he’d been feeling. 

The problem was…Izzie hadn’t realized it, yet. 

Nate was pretty sure of that.  She might know that something was off – about them, about herself – but she either didn’t want to self-reflect on it, or hadn’t even thought of it. 

He was sure some part of her knew.  Some part of her liked Nate but didn’t like kissing him.  Some part of her liked his company, liked that he was easy going and didn’t push her physically.  Liked that he was, literally, her best friend.  That he let her show up and unwind and stay over, and that he was physically affectionate, but not too physical affectionate. 

Some part of her liked the idea of some parts of him.  But they were fundamentally incompatible. 

And he didn’t know what to do. 

He grappled with that for a while, too.  What did one do when they realized their girlfriend was checking out the same girls as they walked by, even if she was doing it subconsciously?  He didn’t feel like he could call her out on it.  That’d be rude.  And she likely hadn’t even come out to herself, so him just barging in and telling her she was gay probably wouldn’t go over well. 

And…well, it wasn’t like he was cheating, right?  He was, but in all fairness, his girlfriend was gay.  His relationship with her, romantically, was pretty much a sham.  But their friendship? 

He did really like it.  She was such a girl when it came to scary video games, but she still played with him.  She shoved him playfully and they had the best banter together.  He loved her for that. 

He couldn’t bring himself to break up with her.  She was still the hottest girl in school, and by far the coolest girl he knew.  She was fun and once he realized that, likely, he wouldn’t be getting anything more from her, he truly didn’t want anything more than what she seemed willing to give.  Their hang outs turned more into adventures of opposite-sex friends, including video games, wrestling, long drives in the car, impromptu dance parties. 

Realistically, he should have broken it off, and in hindsight, he knew that.  He’d lost his best friend and a potential girlfriend, as well as the respect of half of the school, in one fell swoop, when she ended up dumping him.  And realistically he should have seen that coming: she’d have no reason to keep him around, he’d treated her, as a girlfriend, like shit.  So of course she would think he was also a shit friend.

And he was a shit friend.  Even if he hated to admit it and was better at just pretending it didn’t bother him that she’d left him, cold-turkey. 

And it was all because of Newton.  Literally everything changed when Casey arrived.  He heard a lot of complaints…non-stop complaints, actually, about Newton.  If he hadn’t been so annoyed at constantly hearing about it, it would have been amusing how attracted to Casey Izzie actually was, and pretending she wasn’t.  Or maybe, not knowing. 

So no, he wasn’t lying when he’d told them that he knew they’d fall in love. 

He figured that, finally, Izzie would just have to be honest with herself.  He also figured, wrongly, that Casey wouldn’t be into Izzie.  At least…not romantically.  And he and Casey had chemistry.  Flirting with Casey was fun and a breath of fresh air.  Her sense of humor was more like his, lighter than Izzie’s sharp tongue.  Casey was cool.  He even sort of started a tally board in his head, of who was in her good graces, or who pulled better moves on her.  Izzie didn’t know she was playing this little game, but she was actually holding her own fairly well, even if it was, he thought, for naught.

He did, however, tease his gay girlfriend mercilessly about being attracted to Casey. 

“Oh Iz, just face it,” he said, laughing at her while they played 007 on multiplayer.  Like Sean used to when Nate was little.  “You like Casey!  And that’s fine!  She’s a cool girl, I wouldn’t blame you at all if you left me for her,” he chuckled.

She shoved him.

“Hey!” he laughed. 

“Shut up, asshole.  I do not like Newton.  She is cool though, and if you don’t shut up about it, I might just have to leave you for her,” she said it with a scowl. 

Nate couldn’t help but smile at that.  “At least you’re being honest with yourself!” he’d teased. 

She hadn’t answered him, scowl still on her face as she shot him on screen.

He wasn’t sure how well his comments went over with Izzie.  She had various reactions, from exasperation to full-on anger.  But the longer they were together, and the more that Casey started to creep into their lives, the more he pressed the matter. 

It wasn’t necessarily that he wanted out.  Just that he wanted her to be honest with herself.  There was nothing wrong with being gay, and he’d always be there for her.  He was trying to figure out a way to say that without actually using such blunt phrasing, because he had a feeling that it wouldn’t go over well. 

When she’d come to him, genuinely hurt that he’d kissed Casey, he’d almost panicked.  Was it…had he misread the situation?  Did she actually genuinely love him and just not know how to act on that attraction?  So he’d lied through his teeth and her tears, and everything was fixed. 

Except it wasn’t.  Izzie broke up with him not long after, positively reaming him out for lying and for going for Casey, her best friend, of all people.  It was an explosive break up in the hallway, but she’d come around later to get her things and Nate couldn’t help but feel genuinely saddened.  Here was a girl he’d gotten to know, to love, for eight months.  She was cool as hell and she was going to make some woman really happy one day.  And he knew that because even though the physical things had largely fizzled out early in their relationship…she’d still made him happy. 

Still, she’d packed up all of her stuff in a huff as he’d made no motion to help her out. 

As she left, he followed her to the door, leaning against the doorframe as she dropped her box full of things and searched for her car keys in her pockets. 

“You should tell her, you know,” he said, quietly. 

Izzie shot him a confused look through a scowl.  “Tell her that you’re a cheating scumbag?  I think she already knows but thanks, I’ll tell her anyway.  If she’ll even talk to me.”

Nate had to stop himself from rolling his eyes as he noticed just how much the thought of Newton not talking to her hurt her.  God, she really had it bad.  Worse than originally thought. 

“No, Iz, I mean-” she cut him off with a glare and he raised his hands in surrender, “Izzie,” he corrected.  He’d lost the privilege to call her Iz, apparently.  “I just mean that you should tell Casey.  That you like her.”

If looks could kill.  “I do not.” She said hotly. 

Nate chuckled and rolled his neck, looking up to the ceiling of his home so as to avoid the acid glare of his now ex-girlfriend.  “You do.  Like…so much.”

He finally looked at her to see her staring back at him, her lips a thin line and her eyes a furious storm of anger, fear, and hurt.  “I’ve known for a long time, you know?  I just didn’t know if you knew, and I didn’t want to be that guy who pushed you out of the closet before you were ready.  But…you do.  And I know that you know that.  We’ve both been kidding ourselves for months now.” He shrugged, “Doesn’t excuse me cheating, I get that.  But babe.  You’ve not been in this relationship for months.  And that’s okay.  I’m not gonna tell anyone.  I’m an asshole but I’m not that bad.  But, just…you should tell her.”

Izzie looked at him almost with disbelief.  She didn’t say anything though, just turned, grabbed her box, and headed to her car.  Nate had watched her go, sighing as she peeled out of his driveway. 

There were a lot of things that he should have done, it was true.  But now, he knew what he had to do.  Just…let things be.  See where things went.  And most importantly, keep his stupid mouth shut about his ex’s biggest secret. 

He could do that.  He just hoped that she would take his suggestion.  Even if, reasonably, he didn’t have a right to give her relationship advice in the first place. 

**Author's Note:**

> As I mentioned in the Notes at the beginning, while I do explore in the narrative Nate's possible reasons for cheating on Izzie/his various excuses that he would give himself for doing it and for being an asshole in general, I in no way condone the behavior nor am I seeking to excuse it. I just wanted to take a look inside of his mind to see what would make him stay with Izzie assuming that he knew all of this about her, and I think in his own misguided teenaged boy way, he knew it was wrong but also was following the pretty strict script of teenaged masculinity. Not to mention his own conflicting feelings on genuinely liking Izzie as a person and getting caught up with the expectation of sexual exploits of young men. 
> 
> All that said, I hope that you guys enjoyed the fic! :) Thanks for reading!


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